My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
