White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
