Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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