how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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