So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
