there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
