I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
