On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
