a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
