Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
