Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
