You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
