I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
