Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize