the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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