I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
