After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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