biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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