She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
