so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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