I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
