for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
