I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
