Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
