dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
