I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
