My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
