Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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