But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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