i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
