Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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