tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
