Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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