I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
