Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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