I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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