Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
