Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
