It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
