there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
