she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
