do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
