you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
