No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
