hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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