her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
