He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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