bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
