well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You took a bar mat shot.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
