you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
