I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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