The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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